If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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