i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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