He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize