Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
