We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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