this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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