i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
