Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
