I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
did i walk over a car last night?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
