what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a beard to bite.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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