i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
