So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
