I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
