Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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