i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
