no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
