3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
