My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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