I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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