i just made my gag reflex go away.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
