Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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