before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
All the doctor said was why
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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