Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
