windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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