It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
