Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
