hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize