you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
