what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
