They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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