Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
