I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
thus making me awesome and them whores
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
