I could have mohawked her pubes.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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