Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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