i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
