Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
