Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
