You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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