Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just cut my nipple shaving
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
