i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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