You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
