She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
