Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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