Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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