you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
