What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
