yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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