I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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