You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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