She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
