singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
