i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize