Whod you bang
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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