and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
