She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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