Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
