How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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