I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
