Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
