Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
