I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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