I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
