I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
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Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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