he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
