Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
