When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
