i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Randomize
