Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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